Erma Bombeck
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I’ll be leaving tomorrow to speak at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Conference which is a great thrill for me. My client Bill Scheft will be speaking there too, as well as one of my heroes Gail Collins.

Erma is another hero of mine and I started reading her books when I was very young and my Mom would pass them to me to inspire me and give me the gift of humor. I’m taking my Mom, a 72 year old English teacher, who still teaches in an 95% economically disadvantaged school district near Dallas. My mom gets the kids in 9th grade who everyone else has “passed along” but those same kids can’t read and often have no one to believe in them. My mom changes all that for them. Several of her students are now in college and many have gone on to work in other careers as well. She inspires them to do more with their lives.

Erma’s writing always inspires me. It is timeless because it is good common sense and elevates the power of humor and love in our lives. Being a humorist is the hardest writing job one can have, yet Erma did it effortlessly. So before I leave for the trip in the morning, I wanted to share my favorite Erma quotes.

1. Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you.

2. Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

3. Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide.

4. If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.

5. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

6. There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

7. When humor goes, there goes civilization.

8. When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me”.

9. When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.

10. It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.” I’ll be presenting “Overwebbed: Help I’ve Had a Social Media Breakdown and I Can’t Tweet Up”. I’ll also be tweeting from the event so look for hashtag #ebww . I think everyone will be using that one for tweets.

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Mr. Media, Bill Scheft and a publicist’s pain

On December 8, 2009, in Author Interview, Featured, by Nettie Hartsock

I’m generally reticent to comment on my client interviews with online media after they’ve occured, but I felt this one is a great example of how humor, insight and a publicist’s pain work together for the greater good.

One of my favorite clients is Bill Scheft and I think one of the reasons I like Bill is because he constantly makes me laugh. It’s nice to have a client that really understands that life is life and books are just one aspect of life. It’s also pretty darn hilarious when you’re a publicist and you book an interview for your client and the interviewer makes you the butt of a joke during the show.

Oy vey. A publicist’s life. You can’t win. You’ll have to listen to the full interview with Bill and Mr. Media which features some new stories about Larry David and Bill’s career as a writer. If you’ve not read “Everything Hurts” yet, you should.

I also love that Bill, no matter who is interviewing him, ever so patiently finds something funny about folks trying to make him laugh.  And I was doubly impressed by Mr. Media because one could tell that he really worked hard to research Bill’s work and he read Bill’s book. That is not always the case!

Bill is also incredibly patient with me, who is more than often tempted to send  his PR updates in Top Ten list style. (Just to see if he thinks it’s funny.)

If I did send them it would be something like this:

Top Five Bloggers Who Said No To Book Pitch and Why:

1. IloveSarahPalin.com – only reviewing books with “Rogue” in the title

2. Mamma’s Knitting Again.com – “if it doesn’t have knitting needles as a main plot line, we won’t review it.”

3. Republicanswhoright.com – “No thanks. We don’t think humorous novels are funny.”

4. Sportsguyswhoread.com – “Too busy reading “The Cheetah Who Played Golf”

5. ComedyHurts.com – “No, the book doesn’t sound painful enough.”

See, I just did it then, and I couldn’t even think of ten. So it’s good I’m not a comedy writer.

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bill-scheftBill Scheft, a 15-time Emmy-nominated writer for David Letterman, is the author of two previous novels, The Ringer and Time Won’t Let Me, which was a finalist for the 2006 Thurber Prize for American Humor. He has also written for the The New Yorker, The New York Times, Esquire and Sports Illustrated. He lives in New York City with his wife, comedian Adrianne Tolsch.

Bill’s latest book is titled, “Everything Hurts,” and the NYTimes reviewed it saying, “The seminal event in Bill Scheft’s third comic novel, “Everything Hurts,” occurs “two years after souls had gorged themselves on chicken soup, two years before the same souls would stop sweating the small stuff while wondering who moved their cheese.” The year is 1995, and the self-help book craze is in full swing. Phil Camp, this novel’s perpetually achy hero, decides to write his own self-help book as both a joke and a means of paying alimony.”

The hero of the Scheft’s novel is Marty Fleck (who is now an official blogger at the Huffington Post.)

“How rare it is for a novel to be both hilarious and profoundly moving. In Everything Hurts Bill Scheft is firing on all eight rumbling, throaty cylinders.”
––Richard Russo

“I have lived this story in real life, though mine wasn’t nearly as funny, poignant or compelling as this. On the other hand, I believe I’m much better looking than the fellow in this book and could probably take him in a fight.”––Larry David

The book is laugh out loud funny and Bill is not only an award-winning fiction writer but was also a longtime sportswriter.

I had the great and humbling luck to be able to talk to Bill about his book, comedic writing and how Julia Cameron’s book, “The Artist’s Way,” kickstarted Scheft’s own career. I’m a giant fan of “The Artist’s Way,” and even used it as part of my thesis work at Goddard College.

Here’s our interview for this edition of the Funny Sundays.

Nettie: Why is humor so important in society?

Scheft: It is cathartic, a stress-reliever, a humane way to address hypocrisy and carb-free.

Nettie: You’re an amazing writer, can you talk about your practice of writing and how it has evolved?

Scheft: Amazing? Well, who am I to disagree with you? My practice changed 14 years ago this July, when my wife bought me a book called THE ARTIST’S WAY by Julia Cameron. Before then, I had never written anything of consequence longer than 1000 words. Thanks to her book, I began writing three pages first thing every morning, just stream of consciousness journaling. Five months later, I started my first novel. I have now written four novels, published three, and one collection of my Sports Illustrated columns. And I still do those three pages every morning. Every morning.

Nettie: Did you always want to be a comedic writer?

Scheft: I always wanted to be a writer. And I always loved humor and comedy. Never thought it could coalesce into a career. But after majoring in Latin in college (the best preparation for a career as a writer, I believe), I wrote sports for a newspaper in Albany (I had been a sports writer for my high school and college newspapers). Did that for a year and a half, moved to New York, became a stand-up comic, made a living at that for 13 years, and then, in1991, after five rejected submissions, I was hired as a writer at Late Night with David Letterman, then at NBC. I’m still with Dave, and not considered a flight risk.

Nettie: What always makes you laugh?

Scheft: My wife, comedian Adrianne Tolsch. My boss, Dave Letterman.

My three best friends, Larry Amoros, Barbara Gaines and Tom Aronson. When someone makes fun of me in the right way. Can’t explain. I know it when I hear it.

Nettie: You have had a long career as a sports columnist as well, how do comedy and sports go together?

Scheft: Every aspect of sports – players, fans, management, media — takes itself too seriously. That, and the presence of recreational drugs, and it writes itself.

Nettie: In your new book “Everything Hurts” which is garnering rave reviews, you really balance a great sentimental message along with a great deal of parody, what was the best part about writing this book? What did you most love about the main character and his struggles (both medical and familial).

Scheft: The best part of writing any book is when someone writes a question like that and demonstrates that they got what you were trying to do.

I have two themes in my books: Aging, and broken people trying to put each other back together. What I love about Phil Camp is that his struggles were mine. I walked with a limp and was in constant pain for three and a half years, and yet was sure there was nothing physically wrong with me. So, to try and “art” myself out of the pain, I decided to write a book about a guy trying to get rid of a psychosomatic limp. But son of a bitch, the guy in the book got better before me. Ten days after I sold the book, I saw yet another doctor who took one look at my latest x-ray and said, “You need a hip replacement. I’m not saying you should get one. I’m saying you have to get one. This is a no-brainer. You’ll be pain-free.” I did. It was. I am.

Nettie: What advice would you give to people who want to make a career of comedy writing?

Scheft: Pick the type of comedy writing you want to do and create the appropriate writing samples. You want to write sitcoms, write a sitcom script for an existing show. You want to write movies, write a movie. You want to right for a nightly show, create pieces/jokes for that specific show. The last thing you want to do if Colbert wants a writing sample is send them a bunch of funny greeting cards you wrote one summer.

Nettie: What do you think is misunderstood about comedy and comedians?

Scheft: That we’re not big fans of bathing.

Nettie: Is there always room for a new comedic voice?

Scheft: Absolutely. Have you heard Glenn Beck lately? Hilarious.

Nettie: What’s the greatest challenge in writing humor?

Scheft: Answering the question: “What’s the greatest challenge in writing humor?”

Nettie: You have an active blog and you write online for the Huffington Post, what do you think the Web has done in terms of creating more places for people to express themselves?

Scheft: Okay, back to legit answers. I avoided doing a blog and writing for the Huffington Post for years. Not because I don’t thinking blogs are effective, but because creating content that is predominantly opinion-based never interested me, and I think that is the attraction of blogs. I’m not interested in my own opinion, why should you be? But I figured out a way to do the HuffPo pieces as Marty Fleck, the pseudonymous hero of EVERYTHING HURTS. And to use my blog as an informational and promotional tool for the book. God help me, I’m enjoying it.

There’s a point coming, and here it is. Of course the Web has created more places for people to express themselves. The accessibility alone was unimaginable just ten years ago. And that’s invaluable and the essence of art. But if the content is completely opinion and response-driven rather than material-driven, there is almost no rewriting, just reacting. The good news is, like any other creative artform, it will assume its rightful place.

Nettie: Wonderful response! Thanks Bill!

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